its not dieting, its eating healthy

I have to think like that bc if I think dieting I am most likely to fail, and I'm tired of failing I have to do this for myself. I have to make myself happy, I have no energy, no life in me, I'm happiest when with him <3 but when he leaves. And I'm alone its like get up mona do something and I lay there or sit there and do nothing. So if I eat better energizing foods all will be well id have more energy and I kno I will just feel better. I need this! And I have to do this for me, change basically my whole lifestyle bc I'm a junkfood attic. I need to view this healthy food as my junkfood now bc if I'm an addict might as well change my addiction to healthy = junkfood lol. Plus I'm just tired of the way I look, tired of being envious of beautiful girls, secretly wishing I looked like that, I wana look like me but a healthy beautiful me ya kno? And I am I will I have to or else I will die miserable, and others in my state may not be that's fine but me myself and I aren't truly happy and we meaning me I am gonna try my hardest now before its too late....