And then there he was....

All beautiful and shirtless what is it about him that makes me fall. stupidity i suppose but i really dont care when it comes to him. i get angry sad helpless hopeless but i just cant do it i cant stop looking at him i cant stop wanting him. i cant stop seeing him i cant do it. seeing him smile seeing him just makes me so weak so vulnerable i ty not to show i care to show hatred but i fail miserably as always. i should sleep i kno but my eyes wont close must i force them? yes.