The wall

everyone hits the wall eventually.... i miss him im trying to move on but no one will ever make me feel like he makes me feel and i dont know why? hes cruel and secretly loathes me for i do not know why yet i cant stop thinking about him no one else matters no one could touch him his light its unbearable to go on as if i hate him i act as if im disgusted by his very prescence but its just the hate inside that i feel because he doesnt love me because he doesnt even try why cant he try? why am i the only one to feel this way? all im saying is ive hit the wall and i cant go past it  because its just so hard to let go. moving on... what do i stand for? who am i? sometimes i feel like a walking hypocrit i believe certain things to be a certain way thn i break the rules i break the rules in which i have made i dont understand? why must it be this way? no answers never any answers....then he does things that make me wonder make me question why why why?