liar

sometimes i want to just punch him so hard that he cant breathe he irritates me so. i dont even care not today. sometimes i see myself as a walking nothing a person who doesnt really know what to say or really has nothing to say i dont know which one i really am, lately i dont want to try i dont want to do anything i see myself wanting to live other peoples' lives i just look on the screen or in reality and wish i was them although i loathe them its only out of envy nothing more i cant seem to change myself my being i stay the same or get worse but never better. time isnt on my side yet again i dont make it on my side i could do a lot to make it better get off work at midnight fall straight to sleep wake up at 9ish eat a nutritional breakfast go for a run but whats holding me back? nothing. absolutely nothing. i just dont want to laziness i suppose im just so tired all the time i dont want to do anything at all i need sleeping pills to put me back on track because i stay up till like 2 or 3 every night and i wake up at noon it takes me like 3 hours to get ready for work so i have no time to go for a mid day exercising routine also i dont want to go alone but maybe it would be good to go alone to think listen to my favorite tunes just be with me its sad it seems that i dont even like my own company much less others. i never knew it would be like this everything would fall apart slowly what a shame.