Cant Seem to Get Away....

im so weak when it comes to him so very weak i fall everytime he needs me he wants me to do something ill do anything he wishes because i love him and im addicted to his everything. hes opened doors in me that i know shouldnt be opened but hes soo powerful so beautiful  that i have to give in i need to give in. he could make me so high then make me the lowest of low. i dont understand him, hes like a puzzle except none of the pieces fit together then when you change them to fit they change again confusing i know but thats how he is. also i feel as if i dont know him sometimes like hes completely someone else then hes sweet then bitter he has like a bipolar thing going on it seems but what do i do? nothing i suppose i just keep dreaming and i dont mind that even if hes not mine i can dream cant i? today i forgot all about today i did nothing on my day off later ill do some things but not important enough to talk about, the other day i had the worst dream ever so bad that i woke up crying, tears runny nose the whole crying bit, my memory started to fade after awhile so i dont completely remember but i do remember that i was with him and he was being very cruel to the point of making me wish i was dead some event happened i dont want to go into detail because i cant remember all of it then i was getting sent away and an animal came to me a wolf i think? and he said you dont have to be miserable ya know? you could be with me transform yourself and he was telling me how he was in the same situation as me, how he could turn back and forth human, wolf, all i had to do was let go, then i woke up. i remember that part perfect because i was thinking if i should just turn let go be free but then when i woke up i thought but id never see that face again id never see those damn eyes. that was a strange dream very, very strange. if i have some things of more importance then ill write about it but for now im off!