How Could it Get Any Worse?

i do have the worst temper in the world it can trigger anytime with little things that it may think are big things or maybe its just building and shoots at the wrong moment. i hate him sometimes to the point of murder but i know that its wrong to kill ofcourse and i wont do it for the fact that its wrong? or wait its him thats my first reason why i wouldnt do it. that made me smile my own joke made me smile. how sad. but he just seems to ridicule me about the things i do or say i get tired of it and i explode into a what he oves to say "psycho" he makes me that way! i dont feel like speaking of him anymore now to a nicer yet scary subject i am going to the collge today yay? thank God for good friends my friend is going with me so i wont be completely alone i forgot what to really do exactly ill ask my friend when she picks me up im sure she'll know hopefully. i really dont want to do this having to be around people having to envy their appearance and their knowledge knowing that im not as smart as them, i wanted to take other classes such as psychology, sociology which i took in highschool but i liked it. because i want to diagnose my own problem is really why i took them i want to figure out what defines me and fix it. Waiting for my friend to pick me up ive been waiting for a while now my patience is growing thinner by the minute but i should be grateful that shes doin this for me. where is he? its raining not hard but enough to get wet if you stand outside for 5 minutes. i sometimes wonder what root my thoughts come from cause they make no sense to me and they sound insane!