Have You No Shame?

i sometimes do things that i truly feel awful for. today is a perfect example my friend invited me to her church and all i was thinking was too much people and how uncomfortable i was, when that shouldn't matter at all but i couldn't help but think i gotta get out of here and it was anything to do with the sermon it was truly beautiful its just the fact that i was surrounded by complete strangers excluding my friends of course. why cant i praise from  the comfort of my home? i just felt bad because the thoughts i had, i shouldn't care but i do. i wonder how i can cure that? is that even curable i could look it up but how would i word it? ummm "how can i cure my fear of being around an abundant amount of people?" i should try it but not right now ill keep it in mind at one point i felt like i was suffocating i thought i was gonna start hyperventilating because others joined our row causing me to sit next to a complete stranger all i could thing was where is the nearest exit. and i truly do feel awful for thinking of such a thing but i couldn't help it even when i tried not to think negative and focus on the sermon i couldn't fully snap out of it. there are things that i cannot control even though i should be able to. maybe it was because my lack of sleep? i couldn't really concentrate or maybe im just making excuses. whatever the deal.... i do apologize for the way i acted i feel terrible and ill probably get paid back for it which i truly hope not because i cant handle more stressed out situations.