i am now listening to mellowdrone my now and even forever favorite band and i'm happy for some reason they make me happy i always smile when i listen to them... moving on to yest. evening i was in a bad mood and it only got worse as the evening progressed bad things were just happening nothing went right for me that day until the night when all the problems were resolved but i was once asked if my heart was ever broken i said no what does it feel like? the response like it sounds, a horrible chest pain right where your heart is like its breaking its crushing inside you well i lied i've experienced it it hurts no doubt the pain is so unbearable that afterwards you cry well i atleast cry how pathetic yet not but i can say that yes i have experienced a pain awfully similar to that of supposed "heartbreak" my heart must break everytime i see oh forget it useless words for a ridiculous obsession sometimes i loathe myself for always wanting to talk about him i need to just get over but i know i wont so moving on to again yest. i wanted to know what he was gonna say but like all things the subject was changed but i did want to know and even now its bugging me but maybe its better if i not know but still theres always that curiousity and it will always be on my mind there are things i want to know about him but i fear that i may say the wrong response or that i may not completely understand it and look like a complete fool but i want to know what goes on in that beautiful mind of his and maybe one day i'll find out maybe he'll see me and see how much i truly care but whats the point of trying when i could fail miserably damn my heart and my mind for all the thoughts i have for all the rage i feel for all the things that make want to hate being around people i wish i could just improve myself but when i dont know and the sad thing is i should know right?
a song that i heard when i was younger and i felt it was like me it was me its by A perfect Circle
3 Libras
Threw you the obvious And you flew with it on your back A name in your recollection Down among a million, say: Difficult enough to feel a little bit Disappointed, passed over. When I've looked right through, To see you naked and obliviousand you don't see me Well I threw you the obvious, Just to see if there's more behind the Eyes of a fallen angel, Eyes of a tragedy. Here I am expecting just a little bit Too much from the wounded But I see, See through it all, See through, And see you. So I threw you the obvious Do you see what occurs behind the Eyes of a fallen angel Eyes of a tragedy Well, oh well.. Apparently nothing. Apparently nothing at all. You don't You don't You don't see me You don't You don't You don't see me You don't You don't You don't see me You don't You don't You don't see me at all....
a lovely song if i could say so myself its amazing how some songs i hear remind me of myself but to others it may just be another song i like to think of songs as a part of me like a trait or w/e its all confusing but hey i am a confusing person well the bell is gonna ring so i will leave it at that...
To Be Continued....
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