Out of the blue i am going to talk about you.... how cheesy but w/e it just popped in my head so i thought i would write it i dont know i guess i like it... moving on yesterday i had a sudden awakening i guess to learn that somethings i shouldnt take seriously for example some one saying something repugnant but not meaning it as "serious" just joking around i would take it seriously but now i dont know i guess i am starting to catch myself and say hey he's just kidding he even says it too, like when i am about to get mad, "you cant get mad i was just kidding" also i know it when he has a grin on his face but still i guess i'll have to learn i was saying i'm just not going to take you seriously he was like no i'll stop joking around i replied with no its cool i think i know when your being serious and when your not i just have to look at your face or w/e well that all happened yesterday afternoon/evening.... so moving on to today i am in 1st just writing in you obviously, this morning i was in the library yet again just looking for something some one then v came and i chilled with him just talking about randon things like always and i was content as i am now well the bell is gonna ring so i will write later....
To be continued...
now i'm in 2nd doing nothing in an extremely foul mood today may not be a good day for me i kinda have a feeling for some reason i have realized something about myself i am a very jealous person i dont know if i wrote this before but if i did so what i am slightly annoyed with a hint of irratability well the reason why i am so jealous is because i dont know insecuruty? maybe its my lack of trust towards anyone i just know that if i see something i dont like then i will show it thats one thing i used to do is hide my emotions now i just dont care i mean if they care about me then why should i have to hide them right? oh well this is probably making no sense because i'm not thoroughly explaining my situaution but i dont care so yeah anyways on to more well less important things my computer keeps being a punk so i will write later during 5th
again to be continued...
now i'm in 5th and sometimes i wonder am i that obvious with how i feel about him its so complicated i feel vulnerable because of him i think he's mad at me again but i too am mad i shouldnt be but dammit i am and we will eventually get over it like always but i need to just let go and get over all of it all of this cuse i'm only hurting him and i never wanted to hurt him and not only that but i'm hurting myself the end
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